Hysteria
by v-138
Summary: Despite his infatuation with Shizuo, Sakuraya soon finds himself ensnared into a relationship with Shitsuo which ultimately makes him miserable.
1. apomakrysmenophobia

Infatuation can be a scary thing, you're simply going about your life until one day you notice you've started thinking about this one person more and more until it hurts to know how much you care about them. It starts off as a small little feeling, a sort of crush at first. Sometimes it fades as the friendship grows and you feel as though it was nothing big. After all people have crushes on their friends all the time and they fade quickly. However, sometimes the infatuation never fades completely and after a while it returns-stronger, more pronounced. Infatuation is terrifying, especially to those who have never felt such a thing before.

Sakuraya, an easy going introverted gardener, lives on the outskirts of Ikebukuro. A good few miles out of town and down the dirt road and it would be easy to spot his unusually large home-at least it would be easy to spot the rather exquisit garden. His estate is rather large as it used to be an inn when he was younger, run by his father and mother, who unfortunately passed away when Sakuraya was a child. It is no sad story, nothing extraordinary and Sakuraya doesn't feel much grief, not because he didn't love his parents! He loved them very much, but because it would do no good to be upset over something he had no control of preventing. However due to his ridiculous fear of social interaction he was forced to close the inn after his father's death.

Soon after his father's untimely death he'd met a boy who seemed to share his face-he'd said his name was Virus and Sakuraya remembered thinking it was a strange name for a person. However he hadn't said that outloud, he wouldn't have wanted to be rude. After all the boy seemed nice enough. Though Sakuraya didn't travel to the city often he did need to get supplies every once in a while and he'd always run into that same boy looking starved half to death and dressed in rags. It was surprisingly easy for Sakuraya to associate with the other and he had no problem inviting the male to stay with him.

Even now, Sakuraya is glad he met Virus and that he took the other into his home.

Virus no longer lives with him, he's off with his boyfriend in the city somewhere. Sometimes he comes to visit but his job usually keeps him busy. Sakuraya doesn't mind it though, he keeps himself busy with his garden and has adopted a rather rambunctious puppy that had strayed into his garden one day. His every day life is nothing to be talked about, it's usually the same everyday. Wake up, garden, play with Flower, garden some more, and eventually go to sleep. Of course there's a few meals peppered throughout the day but usually not until late at night-he has a tendency to forget eating sometimes. Variation only comes when it's a rainy day. Rather than garden he'll simply clean or learn a few dances-which he knows way too many of.

Though recently it's come to the gardener's attention that he's starting to feel something he'd never felt before. Towards a certain blond man who works in Ikebukuro as a bodyguard for a debt collector. Regardless of the fact that he's completely terrified of Shizuo Heiwajima he feels a sort of _attraction_ to the male. He wants to know more about Shizuo and find out what it is that makes him happy-he's never really seen a smile on the blond's face unless he's actually talking to the man he's with. Originally he's surprised by the fact that he's so curious about Shizuo-Sakuraya had never been curious about anyway besides Virus in his entire life. Upon realizing his small infatuation with the bodyguard, Sakuraya refused to go to the city for months; until he needed supplies again of course.

At first seeing Shizuo in the city, Sakuraya had assumed him to be Shitsuo-a butler to one of Izaya's "alters" as they(and himself) were referred to and one of Sakuraya's only...friends for lack of a better word. Sakuraya knew of Shitsuo's own infatuation with him, yet he had no idea why the male was infatuated. It was simply a surprise which he chose to acknowledge and keep to himself. It wasn't that Sakuraya didn't like Shitsuo, the man just kept him on edge all the time. It's obvious to say he was surprised when who he thought was Shitsuo hadn't approached him-though upon further inspection of the blond(from a safe, unnoticeable distance of course) it was obvious he wasn't Shitsuo.

There was no cocky air about him, no cold, vermilion optics piercing whatever happened to be in his line of vision. Instead Sakuraya found a sad face and caramel optics looking at the world with a sort of fear-fear of being rejected, hated. Fear of being feared. Shizuo had definitely been a person of interest for the gardener-infatuation at first sight.


	2. details, details

Thinking back on it, Sakuraya supposed it was rather silly to be infatuated with someone he didn't know, but he supposed that's how most romances start, right? "Love at first sight" was such a cliche motion it was almost sickening-he didn't like that very much. It was much too confusing and involved too much feeling. Much too frustrating for a simple gardener like himself-he simply wanted to live his life. Though he supposed in order to do that he'd need some sort of relationships outside of the ones he had with his pet and his garden. Though he and Vi were still best friends, and he was relatively close to Shitsuo he really couldn't find himself happy with just that. Which only served to make him feel infinitely selfish. Though he couldn't help it-humans are herd animals after all. They crave to have another with them or else they fall into an almost endless pit of despair.

He hadn't told anyone of his recent infatuation with the infamous Fortissimo of Ikebukuro-especially Izaya. It would only make the informant upset, and Sakuraya definitely didn't want to do that. So he kept the secret to himself-unlike Virus, who happened to be infatuated with the blond as well; along with his boyfriend. Such knowledge kept Sakuraya slightly on edge, though it was nothing to worry about, Virus and Psy would not force themselves on Shizuo, right? Right. Sakuraya had to believe that to make himself feel alright about the entire matter. Though knowing Vi...it probably was a lie to himself. Not that it mattered anyway, there was little to no chance Sakuraya would ever actually interact with Shizuo.

Though the fact was disheartening, Sakuraya didn't let it upset him too much. He couldn't dwell on such a thing-though at the moment it was really impossible. A rainy day and achey joints meant no dancing or gardening. The gardener is confined to his futon for the day, far too pained to retrieve his medicine. He'd really have to get that to a place he could reach at all times. A soft sigh is exhaled through soft lips as cerise optics are soon obscured from view, lashes lowering as the gardener does his best to focus on anything but the pain in his knees. He's stuck in a sort of ambedo in which he's stuck notcing the soft patter of rain against his window. Hopeful that it will keep him from thinking of Shizuo Heiwajima. It's silly that he's constantly stuck thinking of the man after all! They hardly know each other...wouldn't it be sort of creepy to think of him so much?

Yes, yes it would.

Of course it didn't matter anyway, Sakuraya's own ellipsism would ultimately keep him from pursuing any sort of relationship with the blond-be it platonic or otherwise. He'd still continue scanning the market for Shizuo's presence on his way home-if only to make sure the blond is still in his life. Even if it's just a small portion, Sakuraya is okay with that. He himself is a minor character in everyone and anyone's life, he's simply not interesting enough to be a main character. Though he doesn't mind, one day he'll die and be forgotten completely. If he were to be completely honest he'd be happy with that.

The course of today is a lonely one, spent mostly in bed listening to the rhythm of the raindrops against his window; spent curled up with his puppy and sleeping most of the day alone. Eventually Shitsuo is visiting, and bringing Sakuraya his medicine. There's an exchange of greetings but it barely registers in the gardener's mind. He'd be lying if he said it mattered. Greetings were greetings, always the same. There's a bit of small talk and Shitsuo brings him some tea and a light lunch to take his medicine with. Of course he's thankful to Shitsuo, the male doesn't _have_ to tend to him like this and it only makes Sakuraya feel like a burden. Shitsuo should be tending his prince, not Sakuraya. However, there's a point where Sakuraya is suddenly brought back into reality in such a way that he's startled. Startled to find Shitsuo's arms hooked around his svelte frame-how uncharacteristic of the butler to simply be cuddling. Sakuraya doesn't like it, Shitsuo's chilled demeanor and temperature leaves the gardener shivering and he politely asks the blond to move over.

Shitsuo obliges reluctantly, offering a polite apology and bowing to Sakuraya as soon as he's standing once more. Gloved hands straighten a slightly wrinkled uniform and a huff escapes the elder male's lips. Shitsuo gives Sakuraya a farewell and turns to go-go back to Hibiya-and Sakuraya simply returns the farewell, hand resting on Flower's head before he falls back to his pillow and curls over on his side. The pup nudges Sakuraya's cheek with his nose before settling to curl up and sleep with the brunet.


	3. selectric

Borrowed casual clothes feel almost unfomfortable on Sakuraya's skin as he makes his way home from the market. Absently checking his bags to make sure he's gotten everything he'll need for the next few weeks. A pair of jeans and a slightly oversized sweatshirt serve to help the introverted male blend into the city as he makes his way back home-wouldn't want to stand out too much, right? They also seem to make him look a lot more _feminine_ than he would like to admit, not that he's stuck on any sort of masculinity. The entire idea of gender is simply too much for Sakuraya to handle and he doesn't find himself to care too much about how he identifies. He simply happens to be an androgynous male with no particular preference to pronouns.

Epicene features contort into surprise as he realizes he's bumped into someone-how ridiculously cliche, right? Immediately he seizes up, cerise optics widened in fear as his attention is drawn to see who he'd bumped into and deliver a quick apology. Only to find he's managed to bump into the back of the one and only Shizuo Heiwajima-how even _more_ cliche. The blond turns and gives Sakuraya one of the most venomous glares the gardener has ever seen in his life. Pale cheeks flush a deep shade of crimson as he stutters out a quiet apology to the male, bowing frantically to get the point across that it was an accident. His body is so tense he's started trembling, and it doesn't exactly help that chocolate hues have locked onto Sakuraya's face, scanning and detecting features all too similar to Izaya Orihara's-not a good thing.

"S-sorry.."

The word is spoken one more time before the reticent male makes his way passed the blond, hurriedly making his way down the road to get to his home as fast as possible. Already his mind is registering the fact that Shizuo was alone today-probably a day off-and that he still seeemed to carry that fear in such lovely mocha hues. He can't believe how lamely he handled that situation, though an almost crippling adomania seems to sink into the gardener's bones and as soon as he's sure he's out of Shizuo's line of vision he's crouched behind a building and taking deep breaths. Petite hands run through onyx locks almost panicked in the fact that he's just encountered the man he's been infatuated with for months-and in the most cliche way possible! Though normally he wouldn't want to stand out he's oblivious to the stares he's receiving for the simple fact that he's crouched in near hysteria over the fact that not only had he spoken to the blond but also had physical contact with him. A final deep breath is taken and he stands once more, only to turn and find the blond right behind him.

Startled the brunet's body tenses up once again. This was pretty cliche too, right? Though with the look of nearly pure malic he's receiving doesn't seem to show that he was going to be carried off like in the fairy tales. There's a few glances in their direction but no one stops, and those who are with partners are told not to stare-after all no one wants to mess with the Fortissimo of Ikebukuro. Sakuraya's heart is left hammering against his ribs erratically, creating a harsh thumping sound within the gardener's own ears. He extends another apology to the blond but he's blown off, taking a step back on instinct as the blond advances towards him.

"Who're you.."

The deep baritone catches Sakuraya by surprise and he answers almost immediately, his name passing through his lips in a quiet stutter. "S-sakuraya."

Shizuo simply nods, as though he's soaking in the fact that this wasn't his enemy but one of his enemy's copies. Of course Sakuraya can't be sure, he's simply assuming. An almost startling sense of calmness falls on the gardener, he doesn't feel as though he's in danger and his body relaxes. He doesn't move away as Shizuo advances towards him once more, instead calmed cerise hues raise to meet the blond's gaze. Nementia sets in, he wonders why he was so terrified of Shizuo in the first place-after all upon first looking he didn't seem to really share any obvious characteristics with Izaya. His hair was longer, his entire demeanor is completely different from the informant's-one would have to take a good, hard look at his facial features to completely recognize that he is indeed an Izaya Orihara Alter. Regardless of the fact that Shizuo Heiwajima, Izaya's enemy, the man who abhors Izaya Orihara's very existence is staring into his face and recognizing every feature that is a copy of Izaya's, Sakuraya feels no fear in the face of this man.

"Y're one of those guys that have Izaya's face, ain'tcha?"

Sakuraya only nods, thinking it would be best not to speak unless he was required to. The blond nods in return, hands being shoved into his pockets as he continues to take in Sakuraya's person. The brunet isn't sure but he feels as though the blond is reading his energy-maybe that's something he does. Perhaps that's how he instinctually knew Izaya was a bad guy. Nervous hands flutter up to brush long bangs away from his face, cerise optics lowering as the other's eyes seem to scan over his entire body. It's really embarrassing, uncomfortable to be scrutinized in such a manner. Sakuraya wants to leave, he wants to be back in the safety of his garden. His own little Utopia of sorts.

"What're you doin' in 'Bukuro?"

The question holds quite a bit of hostility and immediately has Sakuraya on the alert once more-he swallows dryly before opening his mouth to speak. Only choosing to hold up his groceries as an explanation. Shizuo quirks a brow, leaning in closer to Sakuraya and causing the smaller male to lean back on instinct. The blond tilts his head a bit, as though the new angle would help him get a better understanding of Sakuraya's motives behind his trip to Ikebukuro. As thugh satisfied, Shizuo leans back, standing up straight once more.

"You don't talk much do ya'?"

Sakuraya takes a deep breath, standing straight as well before simply nodding. Suddenly words tumble from his lips-it's beyond his control. "I do not wish to anger you-I simply want to go home."

The statement catches Shizuo off guard, and Sakuraya is amazed that he's managed to keep his composure for as long as he has. Seemingly satisfied, Shizuo nods and steps aside. Allowing Sakuraya to go by him and down the street towards his home. Now in a state of total alertness, the brunet makes sure to wait until he's made it home and safely inside of his estate to lose his composure and completely break down. Weak knees buckle and the male is sliding down the wall and to the floor in a fit of deep breaths and near hysterical "what if" situations filling his head. The facts are almost too much for Sakuraya to handle and he remains in his state of utter shock until he's managed to calm down.

What an embarrassing first meeting.


	4. innocuous

The next meeting is slightly less cliche. Shizuo gives Sakuraya a normal greeting-it stands out due to the fact that this is a man Sakuraya has been infatuated with for so long. By now it's been a month since their first meeting and the gardener is quite surprised to find out Shizuo remembers him. Though he supposes it's only natural since Shizuo would want to remember all of Izaya's clones. There's a bit of small talk, not forced at all like it is with Shitsuo. Sakuraya is happy about that, he's happy he and Shizuo get along decently. They talk of the weather and hobbies and Sakuraya is surprised at how interested Shizuo is in his life, he's almost upset that he has to give the male such boring answers.

Month after month they've run into each other in the city-Sakuraya's mind immediately links it to a sort of fairy tale and he can't help it. It feels as though his infatuation has finaly shrunk away to a mear feeling of platonic caring for the blond. Though deep, deep down he knows there's no way the infatuation is gone. By the fifth or sixth meeting, Shizuo offers to help carry some of Sakuraya's groceries home for him, at first the gardener politely denies the offer, assuring Shizuo he can easily carry the bags on his own. Though after a bit of prodding he gives in and allows the male to help him carry things home. In truth he feels sort of awful, like he's making Shizuo do this even though the blond offered freely. While he knows it's potentially dangerous to bring someone he hardly knows on a personal level to his home-especially one who is enemies with your root-Sakuraya leads Shizuo to his home.

The blond seems fascinated with the large home, assuming other people live with Sakuraya and makes to ask the brunet but suddenly stops himself as a puppy comes bounding from one of the many rooms in the abode. Yipping and jumping excitedly, Flower makes due with tugging on the bottoms of Shizuo's pants-tail wagging happily at the sight of a new face. Embarrassed, Sakuraya relieves Shizuo of his groceries and offers an apology for his dog which is brushed off almost immediately as the blond kneels down to lift Flower, raising him to eye level. Mocha hues lock onto the dog's as though he'd reach some sort of level of communication with the animal-it's almost comical. Sakuraya stifles a chuckle as he turns away from the pair to set the bags on his counter, turning just in time to see Flower lean forward and lick Shizuo's nose affectionately; effectively startling the ex-bartender. A trill of laughter leaves the gardener and he finally intervenes, walking forward and gathering the rambunctious pup in his arms; apologizing once more. Shizuo shakes his head, offering a smile to the petite male.

"'s all good, no worries, yeah?"

Once more he's looking around, catching sight of the rather beautiful garden filled with vivid colors and various flowers he was sure he'd never be able to name. And in the window sill, a Venus Flytrap? Such a thing was slightly confusing to the blond, though he was sure it was just a weird thing that Sakuraya used to try and seem a little more dangerous like his original. Not that it worked of course-Sakuraya was much too...cute..to even be considered dangerous. The aforementioned brunet soon passes Shizuo, letting his dog run loose in the garden. Such a thing could not be unusual, after all the small pup didn't seem to be going after any of the flora. Shrugging the blond let his mind slip away from the subject, it was none of his business anyway.

"Thank you."

The quiet voice startles Shizuo as he turns to face Sakuraya, nodding and mumbling an even softer 'Don't mention it.' The gardener only smiles at him, bowing slightly before passing him once more to reach the stove, putting on a pot of tea. "Maa, would you like some tea? Or will you be leaving?" For a moment Shizuo isn't sure of what he wants to do, on the one point he could stay and chat with this male who was still a stranger to him-albeit an enchanting one at that. So much so that he was sure Sakuraya didn't even mean to be so graceful around him. On the other he should probably be getting back to work, it'd take a while to get back to the city from Sakuraya's home, about half an hour if he were to go on foot at least.

"I think I'll be going."

Sakuraya nods, understanding more than Shizuo knew, and hands him a small token of gratitude; a package of sugar cookies originally meant for Virus. It was truly nothing to make a fuss about, he could always make more after all. It wouldn't even be as though they'd ever been given to someone else and Virus would never know it. The brunet offers Shizuo another smile, another 'thank you' as he takes the bag; cheeks dusting a light pink once he thanks Sakuraya.

"See ya' around then."


	5. antematter

It doesn't take long for Shitsuo to notice the budding friendship between his gardener and the one human he abhors more than anything else in the world; Shizuo Heiwajima. Had he been able to feel so, he would be absolutely livid, it should be common knowledge by now that Sakuraya belonged to Shitsuo and Shitsuo _only_. Alas, poor Sakuraya has foold himself into believing that he can simply leave Shitsuo behind and go about making new friendships and new connections which would force the male to leave him just as Hibiya had done. While yes, until recently Shitsuo had been infatuated with the one and only Hibiya that ship had sailed long ago. Once that repugnent lothario had gotten his grubby hands on what _was_ Shitsuo's Hibiya's beauty had been tainted. Yet Sakuraya was still pure as fresh fallen snow and he refused to allow that stupid _monster_ to trudge all over the perfection and beauty that was Sakuraya.

A frown graces handsome features as the blond strides toward the object of his infatuation; vermilion optics watching every little motion Sakuraya makes even as he's only washing dishes. Excelled hearing notes the pace of breath and heart rate, all perfectly timed and absolutely beautiful.

Now, do not be confused; Shitsuo is not threatened by Shizuo in the least. After all, he's well aware that Sakuraya's red string of destiny is linked to himself and not that monster. However these...tangles were not expected and were irritating-especially when thought to be connected to the very bane of his existence. His footfalls are near silent; breath inaudible as carmine hues are locked on the beautiful gardener.

"Sakuraya."

The soft sound of his name startles the gardener; causing petite hands to spasm and drop the dish he'd been washing. Of course Shitsuo could've easily caught the dish had he felt like it, but something about delicate porcelain falling to the floor and shattering sends an exhilirating shiver down the blond's spine; lips curving into a grin as the brunet sighs and turns while tucking a bit of hair behind his ear. Forlorn cerise hues flicker up to meet Shitsuo's own before dropping back to the dish that had shattered on the floor. Silently he kneels down, removing his apron and wrapping half around his hand and using the other half to create a sort of bowl for the shards of porcelain to rest in as he picks up each shattered piece.

"You know I don't like when you surprise me like that, Shitsuo."

His tone is clipped, he's unhappy and on edge-always the same when Shitsuo is around. He's always so...frightening in a way. Shitsuo chuckles, the sound so drastically different from Shizuo's yet nearly identical, the very sound of it sends an uneasy chill shooting through the gardener's veins.

"My dear, you should be well aware that I will continue to do this and you should get used to it."

Shitsuo can hear the sigh that Sakuraya desperately tries to keep silent; of course Sakuraya is unaware that Shitsuo can hear every little thing. He knows every movement as well as every habit that Sakuraya has. Silently the gardener stands and turns to throw away the shards and shattered pieces once he's collected them all in his apron. Feelings collide and react within his petite frame yet he shows none of them, instead turning and offering a small smile to the butler who'd originally caused the mess.

"Well then, is there something you need?"

A smirk crosses the blond's face, vermillion optics narrowing and giving Sakuraya chills which cause him to shiver visibly under Shitsuo's gaze. He tries to keep his eyes on the male in front of him yet it's nearly impossible; cerise hues lower to the ground and away from Shitsuo's direction.

"As a matter of fact.." the tone is low, completely casual yet still alluring-just as Shitsuo's voice always was.

Such a thing never went unnoticed by Sakuraya, in fact it was the beauty of that voice that had the gardener on edge in the first place. It was so alluring and appealing to the ear that it could hardly be considered human. Sakuraya didn't like it. He much preferred Shizuo's voice; the deep gruffness and vibrations rumbling deep from within the blond's chest. In fact as he was thinking of the bodyguard in question; he only just barely registered the rest of Shitsuo's sentence. The final word sent even more chills rippling through the brunet's spine as his body went rigid and his eyes go wide.

"You."

* * *

><p>Hello I feel I should specify that Shitsuo is the bad guy in this particular fic because he's not really one of my favorites and I honestly don't see Sakuraya being happy with him however that is due to my own personal headcanons that he literally has no emotions and simply wants to own Sakuraya because he has no one else and he sees an immense nearly infinite amount of beauty within Sakuraya which is something he covets.<p>

I'm still not sure who I plan for Sakuraya to end up with it may be determined with a coin toss and I'd also like to apologize for slow updates and short chapters; I get distracted pretty easily.


	6. bellicose

Such direct actions were most certainly not common for the butler; it took Sakuraya by surprise, had him stunned into silence for a brief moment tho he wasted little time recomposing himself from the initial shock. He takes a deep breath, cerise hues rising to meet Shitsuo's all too serious gaze.

"I'd I appreciate if you would leave now."

This response is not surprising in the least, in fact it makes Shitsuo chuckle a bit before he turns to go. Sakuraya watches him, a frown fixed in beautiful features as he watches the blond stride to the door; feeling relief that the man would leave so easily. His relief is short lived however, as the butler pauses and looks back over his shoulder, lips set in a discomforting smirk.

"Ne, Sakuraya, you know no one will truly ever love you, yeah? You share the face of a certain _pest _ that no one around these parts is very fond of. Even if someone were to attempt befriending you they'd never truly be there for you-not like I am. It's because you're so closely related to that Orihara that no one will ever trust you."

The calm string of words still hit Sakuraya like a brick, he knows these words aren't true as he and Izaya truly share very little differences just because of the difference in hair length for one. A few inches of hair goes a long way appearance wise. There's also the difference in the atmosphere which follows the two; Sakuraya has a calmness about him that Izaya could never have. While Izaya's charisma is what draws people to him, it's Sakuraya's calming aura that draws some to _him_. And still Shitsuo's words cut deep; causing tears to gather and bunch around chrystaline hues as was often the case when Shitsuo is rejected by the gardener.

It's rare to see Shitsuo leaving Sakuraya dry eyed; for some reason he seems to enjoy making the harmless gardener cry; he doesn't like the sobbing. Just seeing those beautiful optics gloss over with impending tears is enough for Shitsuo to know he's won and he leaves with the feeling of victory swelling his ego. Vermilion hues are not oblivious to downcast cerise optics glistening with tears, yet still he continues with his barage.

"You are alone for a reason, and it is not due to your reticent nature. It is because of that hideous face you wear; regardless of how beautifully you wear it. Ha, you're lucky I even want you at all while you have that disgusting parasite's features yet here you are rejecting me. You do realize I will be the only one who will ever completely want you, right? Apparently you don't if you are rejecting me so. Do you even think you have a chance with anyone else? They'll walk all over you, treat you like you're not even a person. You'll be treated as a clone, a freak. No one wants to be with a clone."

Sakuraya's lower lip trembles a bit; pearly tiers biting down on the delicate tissue and chewing until he feels as though the skin will tear. Yet he doesn't stop chewing, it's the only thing keeping him from bursting into tears at the moment.

"That's why we should stick together you know. But if you feel like you can do better, who am I to stop you? When you're rejected and feeling sorry for yourself I don't suggest you come to me for any comfort."

And with those final words Shitsuo leaves, finally leaves Sakuraya to crumble under the weight of despair as his knees buckle and he collapses to the ground as the undeserved self-loathing crushes his very being. He feels as though he has no right to feel this way yet he can't help it and that only makes him feel worse. It's not as though he can really help that Shitsuo always makes him feel awful everytime he leaves. Tears roll down porcelain cheeks and sobs shake the small gardener's frame as the blond's words echo in his mind and he tries to quell the volatile emotions which seem to spiral out of control and explode for who knows how long. His throat is raw from choking over sobs and cheeks reddened from crying. The brunet finds himself on the floor curled loosely into a fetal position while the tears continue to pour for what seems like an eternity.

He's not sure when he'd fallen asleep, but he wakes to soft nudges of a wet nose against his cheeks as well as rather loud knocking. Strange, so strange. No one ever knocks, everyone always seemed to feel comfortable simply walking in and Sakuraya never really minded. Still he takes a deep breath and wipes his face with a near by hand towel; fixing his clothes and smoothing his hair as he pads to the door before hesitantly peeking out. Immediately he's relieved to see Delic's face, smiling and opening the door.

"Hello, Delic."

"Yo Saku."

The male offers Sakuraya a friendly grin, not even close to that charming half smile he often throws around which always reminded Sakuraya so much of Virus-he must've learned his ways from Delic. The brunet moves aside and lets the other male in, closing the door behind him to ward off the chill of the night. Night..Sakuraya had no real idea what time it was, he only knew that it was dark out; late. Delic must've been on his way to work; it wasn't uncommon for him to stop by, though the knocking was a new feature.

"Hate to bother yyou so late, Beautiful-" such mannerisms, definitely where Virus learned his own charming persona. "-but _Shit_suo came back looking particularly pleased. I just wanted to make sure you were okay and all that."

Sakuraya smiles, slightly amused at the pun on the butler's name; allowing a soft sigh to pass through plush lips before reassuring the blond that he was indeed alright though it wasn't true. As long as Shitsuo continued to treat him in such a way he could probably never be completely alright. But he wasn't in an awful place in his life either, alright..a decent word for how he was he supposed.

"I'm fine."

Delic doesn't seem convinced yet he allows it to slide; he always had. He wouldn't pry if Sakuraya didn't want to reveal his true feelings; an unspoken request for privacy. What kind of gentleman would he be if he didn't respect someone's privacy? Still he pulls the gardener into an embrace and presses a soft kiss to those soft onyx locks. He'd always been a sort of older sibling to Sakuraya; watching out for him as best he could being the closest in reach of anyone else. He was the only one who really knew of Shitsuo's cruel treatment after all; he lived with the guy in Hibiya's home. It had always been his relationship with Sakuraya; something about the gardener made him feel as though he should attempt to protect him from Shitsuo. He'd never felt any urges to flirt with the gardener; he'd always felt as though he were a sort of big brother. And bother of them were okay with this.

The embrace ends as Sakuraya pulls away, offering the host a snack of whatever he pleases before work which Delic politely declines.

"Hey, if you have any trouble call me alright? I'll be here in a flash." the words leave Delic's lips through that happy grin, charming yet not in a flirtatious way. He presses another kiss to Sakuraya's hair and turns to go, waving to the gardener as he leaves.

They both know Sakuraya would never call. But just in case Delic always says the same phrase before leaving every evening.

And then he goes.


End file.
